"Forgive, sounds good - Forget, im not sure I could"

This is how I feel lately. My life has changed/is changing a lot. Im moving, finally, and with that a new chapter of my life starts. New surroundings, new people, new start. But what if it's not, what if my past follows me, all I want to do is get away from it, forget.

What do you do when you have this problem? When you want something to go away so bad, when the very thought of this "thing" makes you feel like you cant breathe, when you just want to forget it. - I've been pondering this dilemma for a few weeks now, 26 days actually.

But then thoughts hit me.

I think of how it could have been, if I would have run away when everyone else said I should have. I will admit there has been times where I regret alot - but then I think. How can I regret the past, for it has laid out my future.

Is it odd to think that one day can change the rest of your life. My instance, one night. One night and I wasn't going to go out, and I did, and it changed the rest of my life. Most nights aren't like this, their mundane, routine, fun, but not life changing. This night led me to the last 10 months, which among everything else, still led me to my best friend.. which led me to the place to which im now moving.. which led me to my new job.. which now, will lead to my new life. So forgive, yes, I'm trying to. Forget, never. But I guess I can't feel so awful about it anymore.

Today, on a test for my new job, one of the questions was: "Do you believe most people are honest and trustworthy."

- I changed my answer 4 times.

I refuse to let events of my recent past dictate that for me, that was my final answer. So yes, I do believe that. Another question I got asked by my best friend: "How long do you think it will take you to trust someone new"

-My answer: If you know me at all, probably not long.

Is this bad?

-I want to believe most people are good. I know the signs now, I know the untrustworthy stare, the excuses, I know what it is like to be lied to over and over and over. So, will I proceed with caution, yes, but will I let the events of my past change or decide how I view everyone else, I hope not.