Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here..

Sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go where You want me to
God, I trust You..

There's a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You..

So come on you gotta wait for the light.. Press on and just fight the good fight..

because the pain that you've been feeling

its just the hurt before the healing..

someday soon.

One day, there will be a guy who understands everything that you have gone through. And One day there will be a guy that loves you in spite of that.. and all of the flaws that encompass you, because of what you've experienced, he will embrace them, accept them, understand them.. because it brought you together.

Each day gets closer..

So hold on to hope, Love.

Every new day is another chance to change your life.

"Its hard to accept, but you can't change the past. You can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. But knowing that things were meant to happen to bring you to the place you are now, that's the beautiful thing about life. Life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into a stream that give you the chance to use something amazing from it."

Its hard to move on from your past, let go of certain things.. but the hardest thing, in my opinion, which you would think would actually be the easiest.. is learning from your past, and not bringing the negative things with you to the future.

Its been a struggle for me, things that have happened to me over the past couple of years- its hard not to bring that with me into my life now. I dont regret anything, and I am grateful for what I went through, it made me stronger, better, wiser and eventually a lot closer to God. Which, isn't that what were ultimately here for? However, Ive found myself struggling a lot lately, trying to let go of certain things, change certain things.. but how do you? How do you go through experiences that bring you to your breaking point and not let it affect your future relationships? They've affected mine. As much as I try to push thoughts away, feelings away, I can't.

I walk in constant fear that its going to somehow replay itself, wondering if I could handle it again.. I know I have to stop thinking this way, because it is ruining the things I have now, but how do you stop..

"Someone comes into your life and half of you says danger, pull away, you are nowhere near ready.. and the other half says, make them yours forever.."

This quote resides with me everyday.. as stupid as it may be. Its completely true. I want to pull away from anything that could remotely hurt me the way that I've been hurt before.. my reactions to certain things show that. And unless someone knows what I've been through.. they wouldn't understand.

..but.. The truth is, no one is ever going to fully be ready after facing certain obstacles that change them. Face each day as a new day.. learn, adapt, and know what you want.. then fight like hell to get it. And even when you think your ready.. the truth is your probably not, your going to fail at what you want, who you set out to be.. learn some more.. realize even more, then do it all over again.

The complexity of life.

- Im re-starting this blogging process. To hopefully revamp my life. There is a lot I've learned in a short period of time, and the way current things had to work out in order to bring me to this way of thinking is pretty crazy. Ask me how I know Jesus is around.. because He always brings me back to this point, where I make extensive realizations.. and things had to happen just right for me to see them. -

"Every New Day is Another Chance to Change Your Life...."

"You can't focus. Jumping every time your phone rings. Checking your texts a hundred times a day. Wishing you could write songs. Feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations...."

I want this.

Feeling Behind?

“God gives you just enough time to do His Will. If you always feel behind, you’re trying to do more than he intended.” - Rick Warren

What usually happens is that when we feel behind, we work harder, which creates more stress, & we work longer, which creates more tension in our personal life. It’s a vicious cycle.

One way to tell if you’re doing more than he intended is to evaluate whether or not you are spending sufficient time doing the things that He has said are most important. How’s your time with God each day? How’s your time with your significant other? How’s your time with other believers? If your answers are “very little” or “non-existent,” you are doing more than he intended & neglecting the things that He’s said are most important.

Get on a schedule & prioritize the most important things. If you don’t, the most important things will take last place & you’ll look back on your life with regret.

A stopping point.

There comes a point in everything you do.. well, everything that you put serious effort into, that you just hit a wall. You're done. You can only put so much effort into something before, if you don't start seeing a change, you quit. Which is where I am. Today. After, well, too long, I've hit that wall.

I dont think its hard to fight for something, at least not to me anyways. If it matters to me, I will fight for it, until I just can't anymore. So, therefore, I don't think the hard part is fighting, I think the hard part is letting go. It's a process that is applied to everything in life. Although, to all those readers out there, I would recommend fighting until the very end for anything you want in life worth having.. because if you don't, you will quit with regrets. You may get burned, but fight fearlessly until you hit a point, and you will hit it, trust me.

Then, just let it go. Life is too short to waste who you are on something, whether it be tangible or not, or someone.. it really is. This may be your last week to live, how do you know it's not? So, fight for whatever it is that enriches your life, and let go of the things that you know you need to let go of.